If you have type 1 diabetes it does not get easier, it does not get better.
It is Type 1 diabetes. Your pancreas does not function properly. Your body produces cells that attack the insulin making cells and therefor your body can not produce insulin.
So right now as my little girls momma I am also her pancreas and this means every day I do complex mathematical equations so that my daughter can eat the food I eat. I do these equations so I know how much insulin to give her. However I have no mathematical formulas for when she is happy or sad or excited etc and it is these moments that change her blood sugar levels drastically. So when you are trying to support me and make me feel better about diabetes don't tell me it will get better, or that it will get easier because the truth is - It won't change. I still have to test her blood everyday, this will never change. I still have to calculate how much insulin to give her, this will never change. I still have to pester her everyday about what she will and will not eat, this will never change. I still watch her numbers go from 1 to 20mmols, She will always have to deal with this and these numbers make her tired, cranky close to death or long term complications. Diabetes will not change. It will not get easier.
Oh wait the moment that maybe just maybe it will get easier for me is when Lizzie does it herself. She can do all the carb counting, mathematical formulas, insulin giving and in essence keep herself alive. But when she burns out what then ....No child should have this as their future.
Friday, November 9, 2012
Our First Snow Fall
Today was full of many random events. Some beautiful some not.
My morning started at 630am. I was unaware of anything outside until after I got ready for the morning. As I entered our living room my eye was caught by what I thought was snow outside. My initial reaction was - NO Way! So like a kid I climbed on my couch and squished my face to the window to take a closer look and yes it was snow! It was beautiful. I could not wait to wake up my kids to tell them about the snow, but first I needed to get breakfast going and make sure I was ready for them to awake. As I was turning on my stove in walks my 3 year old son, blurry eyed and tired, Morning mom, Its bright, I'm hungry and the morning whine begins. So to curve the start of a crappy morning I say - Guess what Jack? It snowed. Go wake your ... Oh Good morning Lizzie. Jack starts telling Lizzie "Mommy says it snowed".... and sure enough they run to the couch and climb up to the window and squish their eyes to get a closer look. Awesome! "Mom! Mom! We have to get a plate of cookies for Santa! Wheres our chimney mom!!!!!! I can't blame them for thinking Santa is coming today as for as long as they could talk about Santa and ask when is he coming they were told when the snow falls! The snow has fallen! Before we could do anything the snowsuits were flying, coats were going on and mitts and toques and man I wish we could get ready for school this quickly. Anyhow they were out the door and on the trampoline jumping and giggling. Of course this is the one morning that all of my camera devices have no battery power - bummer!
After some short outside play we head inside for breakfast and then get dressed to get in the truck to head to Kindergarten. Yes my daughter has started school and she loves it. After we dropped Lizzie at school the boys and I headed to walmart for a birthday present and maybe a few more things.
We park - it is uneventfu,l well somewhat. I did not crash, in fact I think I drove quite well, but aparently the woman who parked beside me thought otherwise. But first let me tell you about our trip in Walmart and I will get back to this mean woman in the parking lot later.
We had so much fun!! It was easy to pick out the birthday present - the little girl turning 5 is have a princess party - we bought her a princess doll. Then somehow I found us in the Christmas aisle. I wanted to buy fun family stockings this year so Lizzie got a purple princess stocking and I got a silver one (not princess). Then Jack picked out a Iron Man stocking for himself, Spiderman for his baby brother and Captain America for his dad - yes Captain America. I tried to find another more grown up looking stocking but Jack would have none of it. So I called his Dad and Daddy was thrilled to have Captain America - Men, Boys they never really grow up do they!
So after I snuck in some stocking stuffer presents, we picked out a few groceries and paid at the till. Heading to the truck we were singing and laughing. I piled my boys into the truck and hopped in and turned it on. Only then did I notice a note on my windshield. My initial reaction was that someone hit me and left a note. But now it was the Woman parked next to me who wrote "you are a crappy driver!" Wowzers. Now I am the first to admit I have had bad moments but this was not one of them. As I was pulling into park on my side of the parking stalls she drove in from the other side and drove right through and almost hit me. Anyways regardless all that I wanted to say about this was - Who takes the time to write a cruel mean letter like that! Seriously what was her purpose- To make me feel bad? I felt enraged and she did in fact get under my skin for a little while. I just never in my life can understand mean, negative people like this.
Anyhow our day moved on. The boys went to a friends house this afternoon and I went to spend an afternoon with my daughter at Kindergarten and it was so special. There is nothing better than the hug that has the "MOM!" joined with it. We played in Kindergarten and played.
Our day ended with a family movie and Auntie coming over to join us. The movie we watched was We Bought a Zoo. A beautiful movie and a great watch. My favorite line was to his son "All it takes is 20secs of courage"
20secs of courage - now that is something to think about. The next time you have to tackle something take it 20secs at a time. I can handle anything for 20 secs. Yup I liked it and I will try it next time.
My morning started at 630am. I was unaware of anything outside until after I got ready for the morning. As I entered our living room my eye was caught by what I thought was snow outside. My initial reaction was - NO Way! So like a kid I climbed on my couch and squished my face to the window to take a closer look and yes it was snow! It was beautiful. I could not wait to wake up my kids to tell them about the snow, but first I needed to get breakfast going and make sure I was ready for them to awake. As I was turning on my stove in walks my 3 year old son, blurry eyed and tired, Morning mom, Its bright, I'm hungry and the morning whine begins. So to curve the start of a crappy morning I say - Guess what Jack? It snowed. Go wake your ... Oh Good morning Lizzie. Jack starts telling Lizzie "Mommy says it snowed".... and sure enough they run to the couch and climb up to the window and squish their eyes to get a closer look. Awesome! "Mom! Mom! We have to get a plate of cookies for Santa! Wheres our chimney mom!!!!!! I can't blame them for thinking Santa is coming today as for as long as they could talk about Santa and ask when is he coming they were told when the snow falls! The snow has fallen! Before we could do anything the snowsuits were flying, coats were going on and mitts and toques and man I wish we could get ready for school this quickly. Anyhow they were out the door and on the trampoline jumping and giggling. Of course this is the one morning that all of my camera devices have no battery power - bummer!
After some short outside play we head inside for breakfast and then get dressed to get in the truck to head to Kindergarten. Yes my daughter has started school and she loves it. After we dropped Lizzie at school the boys and I headed to walmart for a birthday present and maybe a few more things.
We park - it is uneventfu,l well somewhat. I did not crash, in fact I think I drove quite well, but aparently the woman who parked beside me thought otherwise. But first let me tell you about our trip in Walmart and I will get back to this mean woman in the parking lot later.
We had so much fun!! It was easy to pick out the birthday present - the little girl turning 5 is have a princess party - we bought her a princess doll. Then somehow I found us in the Christmas aisle. I wanted to buy fun family stockings this year so Lizzie got a purple princess stocking and I got a silver one (not princess). Then Jack picked out a Iron Man stocking for himself, Spiderman for his baby brother and Captain America for his dad - yes Captain America. I tried to find another more grown up looking stocking but Jack would have none of it. So I called his Dad and Daddy was thrilled to have Captain America - Men, Boys they never really grow up do they!
So after I snuck in some stocking stuffer presents, we picked out a few groceries and paid at the till. Heading to the truck we were singing and laughing. I piled my boys into the truck and hopped in and turned it on. Only then did I notice a note on my windshield. My initial reaction was that someone hit me and left a note. But now it was the Woman parked next to me who wrote "you are a crappy driver!" Wowzers. Now I am the first to admit I have had bad moments but this was not one of them. As I was pulling into park on my side of the parking stalls she drove in from the other side and drove right through and almost hit me. Anyways regardless all that I wanted to say about this was - Who takes the time to write a cruel mean letter like that! Seriously what was her purpose- To make me feel bad? I felt enraged and she did in fact get under my skin for a little while. I just never in my life can understand mean, negative people like this.
Anyhow our day moved on. The boys went to a friends house this afternoon and I went to spend an afternoon with my daughter at Kindergarten and it was so special. There is nothing better than the hug that has the "MOM!" joined with it. We played in Kindergarten and played.
Our day ended with a family movie and Auntie coming over to join us. The movie we watched was We Bought a Zoo. A beautiful movie and a great watch. My favorite line was to his son "All it takes is 20secs of courage"
20secs of courage - now that is something to think about. The next time you have to tackle something take it 20secs at a time. I can handle anything for 20 secs. Yup I liked it and I will try it next time.
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