Communication or gibberish

Communication -
Such a simple word with so much packed into its concept.

I have been married for 8 years this July and together with my man for 11 years. So we should be good at this task. How about the other people in my life who have been there for longer. Not so. Communication with others is such a delicate interaction. We may giggle at books called Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus but in terms of how we speak and the gestures we use this is exactly the truth. But crazy enough it is not just the inability to communicate between genders as it can be between the same sex. Speaking in reference to myself, of course, I feel that communication can only be as good as ones confidence. If you feel strong and knowledgeable then you are ready and willing to listen  to how any one will speak to you and you are open to trying to understand where they are coming from. But if you lack confidence then you unknowingly close doors, possibly to quickly and you stand strong in your opinion, not willing to see the other side.  Its frustrating and saddening.

For my own personal life it has closed the door to what could have been wonderful relationships.

The trick that has worked for my husband and I is - paraphrasing. As a woman, I need to know I am heard otherwise I will ramble on about a topic - or complain as my husband would put it. But if only he knew I was not complaining, I am just not sure he heard the importance of what I was trying to say. Now, unfortunately, this trick is only shared with women in mind. Here is the funny thing - we have figured out how to communicate in a way that supports me and I have yet to find out what works for him - most likely short and sweet. Well I suppose this is not true. The best environment to have a conversation with my husband is while we work - paint the fence, build a deck what have you. Put a tool in his hand and he is willing to talk.

Still even with figuring out how to talk and how to be heard miscommunication still takes place, be it a look, the sound of a door closing possibly to hard or something as simple as how walks away from the party. It is a lifelong journey and what makes this possibly the toughest journey is that it is shared with all in your life.

You can not perfect this on your own - everyone involved has to be willing to learn how to communicate with one another. That is the challenge. If you have an answer for this, well then you must be great at communication!